Originally posted on October 17, 2022 @ 6:07 pm
For the most part, we all want to be liked. It feels good to be thought of as someone who is fun, pleasant and easy to be around. But what if you’re not sure if you come across that way?
Here are five signs that people may not find you likable.
1. You’re Always the Center of Attention
Some people naturally gravitate toward the spotlight and thrive on being the center of attention. If you’re always trying to one-up others or be the life of the party, people may start to find you annoying.
The way to deal with this flaw is to try to be more aware of how your behavior is affecting others. If you’re always the one talking, make an effort to listen more. And instead of always trying to be the funny one, try just being genuine and friendly.
2. You’re Inconsiderate
If you regularly do things that are inconsiderate of others, such as interrupting conversations, talking over people or being late, it’s likely that people will find you difficult to deal with.
You can work on this flaw by making a conscious effort to be more considerate. Pay attention to how your actions affect others and try to be more respectful of their time and space.
3. You’re Self-Absorbed
If you’re always talking about yourself or only interested in topics that revolve around you, it can be a turnoff for others. People want to feel like they matter and that their opinions are valued. If you make it all about you, they’ll start to feel like they don’t.
If you think you might be self-absorbed, try to take an interest in others and their lives. Ask questions and really listen to the answers. Show that you care about more than just yourself.
4. You’re Moody
If you’re quick to anger or constantly cycling between highs and lows, it can be tough for others to be around you. People want to feel like they can predict how you’re going to react and that they won’t be caught in the middle of your mood swings.
Moody behavior can be a tough thing to change, but it’s worth it if you want to be more likable. Work on being more even-tempered and consistent in your reactions. If you’re feeling down, try to hide it or at least explain why so people understand.
5. You’re Judgmental
If you’re always quick to judge others or find fault in what they do, it can make you seem unapproachable and arrogant. People want to feel like they can be themselves around you without being judged.
The first thing you need to do to fix this problem is to take a step back and examine your own life. Are you perfect? Of course not. So why do you expect others to be?
Once you’ve realized that everyone has flaws and that no one is perfect, it’ll be easier to be more understanding and accepting of others. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt and give them a chance to explain themselves before you judge them.
5 Traits of Likable People
Let’s now talk about the traits of likable people. If you’re wondering how likable you are, these are some of the traits you’ll find to find in yourself.
- They’re genuine and authentic: Likable people are real. They don’t put on a show or pretend to be someone they’re not. What you see is what you get with them. And because they’re being their true selves, they’re more relatable and down-to-earth.
- They’re positive and optimistic: No one wants to be around a Negative Nancy all the time. Likable people tend to be more positive and upbeat, which makes them enjoyable to be around. Even when things aren’t going their way, they try to maintain a positive attitude.
- They’re good listeners: In order to be likable, you need to be a good listener. That means really paying attention to what others are saying and trying to understand their point of view. People want to feel like they’re being heard, so make an effort to listen more and talk less.
- They’re empathetic: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Likable people tend to be more understanding and compassionate toward others. They realize that everyone has their own struggles and they’re quick to offer a helping hand.
- They’re fun to be around: Last but not least, likable people are just plain fun to be around. They know how to enjoy themselves and they’re always up for a good time. Life is too short to be around people who are always serious all the time. So if you want to be more likable, make sure you’re having fun too.
Tips for Becoming More Likable
If you’re not naturally likable, don’t worry. There are things you can do to become more likable. Here are a few tips:
- Be yourself: The most important thing is to just be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. People can see through that and it’ll only make them dislike you more. Just relax and be the best version of yourself that you can be.
- Smile: A smile is one of the easiest ways to make yourself more likable. It sends a message that you’re friendly and approachable. So make an effort to smile more often, even if you don’t feel like it.
- Make eye contact: When you’re talking to someone, make sure you’re making eye contact. It shows that you’re interested in what they have to say and that you’re paying attention. Avoiding eye contact can make you seem uninterested and even untrustworthy.
- Be a good listener: As we mentioned before, being a good listener is essential for becoming more likable. So the next time someone is talking to you, try to really listen to what they’re saying instead of just waiting for your turn to talk.
- Be interested in others: People want to feel like they’re important and that you care about them. So show an interest in their life and what they have to say. Ask them questions and make conversation.
- Be positive: No one wants to be around a Negative Nancy all the time. So try to focus on the positive things in life and be optimistic, even when things are tough.
- Offer help: If you see someone struggling, offer to help them. It could be something as simple as carrying their heavy bags or giving them directions. Little acts of kindness go a long way in making you more likable.
- Be grateful: Showing gratitude is another great way to become more likable. Thank people for their help, compliments, and anything else they do for you. Let them know that you appreciate them and their efforts.